Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
