dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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