brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
