Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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