Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
