Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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