a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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