Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.