eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy