Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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