The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.