Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you would pick up someone in the library
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...