And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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