Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

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  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (2433)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its only 8 and she is already passed out

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2

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  (702): Its only 8 and she is already passed out (1-702): Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2 http://tfl.nu/cu8c
  Replies (73) Good night (1417) Bad night (3749)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.

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  (314): Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy. http://tfl.nu/gwon
  Replies (4) Good night (872) Bad night (2845)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

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  (412): His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'. http://tfl.nu/510f
  Replies (26) Good night (5123) Bad night (2110)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.

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  (516): I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life. http://tfl.nu/0sjl
  Replies (21) Good night (5451) Bad night (1157)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Not even marginally surprised

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  (765): He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family (812): Not even marginally surprised http://tfl.nu/oyoq
  Replies (8) Good night (3320) Bad night (1986)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

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  (201): Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday. http://tfl.nu/gpxr
  Replies (5) Good night (3005) Bad night (897)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.

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  (+44): Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate. http://tfl.nu/oa41
  Replies (22) Good night (1089) Bad night (4397)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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  (480): oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone http://tfl.nu/6uha
  Replies (5) Good night (2014) Bad night (804)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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  (303): They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome. http://tfl.nu/wbzs
  Replies (23) Good night (4178) Bad night (940)
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  (626): View more from California

  do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?

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  (626): do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom? http://tfl.nu/95nz
  Replies (4) Good night (1726) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.

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  (770): I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration. http://tfl.nu/fur7
  Replies (7) Good night (1723) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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  (701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft
  Replies (8) Good night (1093) Bad night (479)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.

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  (713): I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/unpl
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock

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  (518): I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock http://tfl.nu/0p3e
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (234)

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