Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us http://tfl.nu/w698

Replies (32) Good night (1053) Bad night (7698)
Favorite
(506): View more from New Brunswick

porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(506): porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off! http://tfl.nu/nmc3

Replies (28) Good night (5988) Bad night (957)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time http://tfl.nu/thrg

Replies (17) Good night (2229) Bad night (3142)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend http://tfl.nu/zd33

Replies (9) Good night (4599) Bad night (1171)
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.

(804): View more from Virginia

i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.

(786): View more from Florida

that would mean it's on tape

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately. (804): i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof. (786): that would mean it's on tape http://tfl.nu/zipf

Replies (6) Good night (4017) Bad night (1041)
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap. http://tfl.nu/xkff

Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (4454)
Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant. http://tfl.nu/xyax

Replies (8) Good night (2779) Bad night (920)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery http://tfl.nu/djsi

Replies (5) Good night (1820) Bad night (718)
Favorite
(662): View more from Mississippi

Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(662): Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month. (662): Challenge accepted. See you in hell. http://tfl.nu/tj98

Replies (28) Good night (7378) Bad night (1155)
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that. http://tfl.nu/u65f

Replies (3) Good night (2253) Bad night (664)
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point http://tfl.nu/73b4

Replies (15) Good night (776) Bad night (2360)
Favorite
(620): View more from Kansas

I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(620): I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin. http://tfl.nu/7pmc

Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (1064)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5

Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (314)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point http://tfl.nu/vgyx

Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (380)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups. http://tfl.nu/x4cx

Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (627)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: