so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people