Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies http://tfl.nu/858n
  Replies (1) Good night (1141) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/n2ms
  Replies (12) Good night (747) Bad night (3755)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day http://tfl.nu/bsdz
  Replies (6) Good night (5228) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk http://tfl.nu/i7vt
  Replies (44) Good night (5675) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now. http://tfl.nu/sf6h
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (3142)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1571) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability. http://tfl.nu/nqzp
  Replies (20) Good night (782) Bad night (3095)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho. http://tfl.nu/d92o
  Replies (16) Good night (1456) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market http://tfl.nu/r2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again http://tfl.nu/nar2
  Replies (5) Good night (802) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water http://tfl.nu/zr61
  Replies (6) Good night (961) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (+34): View more from Spain

  Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+34): Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/s4tk
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper. http://tfl.nu/4og2
  Replies (7) Good night (813) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate. http://tfl.nu/z3en
  Replies (7) Good night (950) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I probably wouldn't

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood (410): I probably wouldn't http://tfl.nu/wahv
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (266)

Randomize