i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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