I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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