Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
