I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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