Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
