Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
