when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
