Sry I called you an 8
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
