Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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