since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
