I heard we made out
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
