Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
