On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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