It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
