he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He has the fingertips of a God
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