I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
