I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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