I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
