she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
