Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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