now i know why i became what i already was.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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