And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
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You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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