Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
