Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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