RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Watching her eat just hurts me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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