don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
