Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
