So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
