I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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