Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
