3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
