her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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