Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
