Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize