I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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