she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
