He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
