I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This house was built for laser tag.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
