can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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