he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
