Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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