Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
