Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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