i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
