Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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