I can tuck mytits in my pants
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
