The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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