I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
