Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He felt like a one man threesome
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude. I can hear the air.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
